Oh Doris

I'm waiting for something to happen!  

I've waited and waited for something to happen.  Something that would be worth you, my reader, taking a few minutes out of your day to read but life seems perfectly normal at the moment and it feels pretty good. Mind you, what normal in our house might be totally off the wall to you.

Who knew that it would be my Mother-In-Law that would break the cycle.  Doris, (82) fell off a tall bar stool in her son's kitchen and fracturing her hip in 3 places.

I mean REALLY?.  For goodness sake Doris, sit on a proper chair will you!  One with 4 legs, down low, with a back rest and one that does not require you to climb up on to it and then become off balance while getting off it. Jeepers!  I thought you older people had a life time of experience to draw on.

Well it would appear that one of the skills not mastered was the ability to sit on a bar stool Doris!

Oh, i hear you.  "Show some respect, Lynda".  Doris knows how i roll.  I can just hear my own Mum when presented by me or one of my five siblings with evidence of an injury.  "Well if you did that to yourself, what would you do to me"?  So as you can imagine, this is exactly what i said to Doris when i confronted her after the operation to replace part of her hip. She didn't laugh. In fact she was so out of it and away with the fairies that i almost didn't recognise her.  Literally. I had to peer hard to recognise her. Did i have the right room, the right ward? Doris was pale, drained, hair limp and looked like a little injured bird swamped by an oversized nest. I had to shelve some of my normal repartee and find some sympathy from somewhere.

Do you think i could buy some from here?  If so, i think my husband would buy me a huge gift card to last a lifetime.

Since i cant fly over to Wales to visit this shop, i got busy.   Right, where are your clothes, I'll take these home to launder and buy you some nice new ones (much needed) while I'm at it.  Would you like a foot rub? Seriously, how do you get to be 82 without ever having had your feet massaged.  How about some lovely cream for your hands and your nails clipped.  Despite her ill health i could tell that buried deep inside was a woman just longing to be pampered.

Flowers? Nah, they just die and take up space on the small cabinet provided.  Much better to buy helium balloons that last weeks and make you smile.

See much nicer than all those Get Well cards.  Who wants to be reminded that they are NOT well.

Doris suffered some minor complications after her op and hadn't been able to eat for several days.  She was looking completely stuffed (excuse the pun).  After talking to the nurses and finding that the treatment would soon be working (you all know what I'm talking about) i felt sure that she was going to need a pick-me-up in the next few days.  I booked Doris a sorely needed in-house haircut, shampoo, head massage and blow dry. Well who knew that the next time i visited I'd be looking at a new woman with a stylish short doo and a new found love for head massages.

I know its all messed up but i love this shorter style that does not allow for those dreaded rollers to be put in.  Its a big improvement.  

Rob works shifts and so he was able to drop in to visit after or before work, which was close by. The rehab facility was over an hour from our house making my visits limited.  A blessing in disguise perhaps?

Anyway i took a day off work to visit her in the second week and she was much improved, moving gingerly around doing therapy.  I had passed a room full of wheel chairs and so i kidnapped her from her shared room and we spent the afternoon outside in a small courtyard in the sun, chatting and laughing for several hours. I don't think we have that MIL/DIL relationship.  It feels more like we are just "girls" hanging together. We went back to her room around 5 and after having just settled in, her dinner arrived. We laughed some more.  I'd filled her up with tea and cake.  After looking at the soup, i know which one I'd rather have.

Doris has cared for her husband with dementia for many years and hasn't really had the opportunity or courage to get out and about.  Jim passed away last year and so we talked about what she would like to do now.  Not as a mother, not as a wife but as Doris. Remember her? Actually she doesn't and so I encouraged her to make a list that we could work our way through.  Doris is so quietly spoken and unassuming that she rarely asks for anything.  Things are going to change.   Do you think she's ready for me?

She's back at home now and getting stronger each day.  I've booked her first holiday in 20 years in February and so now she has a goal.  I'm taking her to Lakes Entrance for 3 days.  Item number one on her bucket list and a desired location she has mentioned before.  She remembers being there when her children were teens and has fond memories.

Its about a 4 hr trip so we will have to take lots of breaks.    The house I've booked is lovely.  

So perhaps this little slip up (or down i should say) has been a wake up call.

Life's short Doris, lets go grab it!

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