Tuesday, 19 May 2015

Noelle's Funnies - From Florida

Oh Ludwig, with respect.......

The above joke had our family rolling with belly laughter.  So unexpected yet obvious.

I'm enjoying the jokes Noelle is sending from afar.  She is visiting her sister in Florida for a while but still keeping me laughing.  

Welcome to the golden years......

I couldn't find my keys. I quickly gave myself a personal "TSA Pat Down."

They weren't in my pockets.  Suddenly I realized I must have left them
in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.  My husband has
scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car's ignition.  He's
afraid that the car could be stolen. As I looked around the parking
lot, I realized he was right. The parking lot was empty. I immediately
called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left
my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all to my husband: "I left my
keys in the car and it's been stolen."

There was a moment of silence. I thought the call had been
disconnected, but then I heard his voice, "Are you kidding me?"     He
barked,   "I dropped you off!"

Now it was my turn to be silent.  Embarrassed, I said,   "Well, come
and get me."

He retorted,   "I will, as soon as I convince this cop that I didn't
steal your damn car!"

An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time, became very bored with retirement, so he decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr. Geezer's clinic. Get your treatment for $500; if not cured get back $1,000."
Dr. "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. So he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic.

This is what transpired:

Dr. Young: --- "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me ?"
Dr. Geezer:  ---  "Nurse, please bring medicine from  box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."
Dr. Young: --- Aaagh !! -- "This is Gasoline!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."

Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.
Dr Young: "I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything."
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from  box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."
Doctor Young:  "Oh no you don't, that is Gasoline!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."

Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak, I can hardly see !!!!"
Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so here's your $1000 back."
Dr. Young: "But this is only $500..."
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500."

Moral of story  --  Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an old "Geezer " !!!!

and ain't that the truth!

Thanks for Visiting Living In The Land of Oz


  1. not sure which one I find the funniest. Thanks for sharing and making me chuckle first thing in a morning,

  2. Those were great! Thank you Lynda!

  3. I was in need of a good laugh, thanks Lynda


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