What is it with Men and Farting?

I know, its an indelicate subject but this question has to be asked.  I'm going to tell you an extremely funny story shortly but first you must know that this subject was so totally out of bounds when i was growing up that even now my usual response to The Boy's (husband and son - can i call them anything else?) indiscriminate flatulence which is usually accompanied by laughter and funny comments like "if it had more choke it would have started" is some stern eyebrows or a total blank stare. The fact that I'm even bringing this matter up shows how desensitised I've become to it over the last 20 Years.  I have no memory of what appears to be the normal response by most and that is to laugh uproariously as if one had just accomplished an act so comedic as to deserve an applause.

When i was growing up, all bodily functions involving the nether regions were to take place in private in the bathroom or in the "little girls room".  At best you could get away with it outside if you were totally on your own and knew that you were not going to offend anyone.   If you happened to burp by accident then you politely covered your mouth and excused yourself.  There were no burping competitions and pretend flatulence by making noises with your armpit, that was just gross and silly.

SO, this story begins with pumpkin soup.   Made in the usual way (onions, garlic, roasted pumpkin, bacon, chicken stock - all pureed and then nutmeg and sour cream added) and served for dinner on Tuesday night.  Yesterday when i came home my husband was in fine form and commented that he had flatulence all day.  Do you think he stopped there? He started describing how long it lasted and what tune he was playing.  By this stage I'm started to get offended and i try to ignore him.  Its hard because like i said, they usually come with a commentary and a comedic performance afterwards.  Gross Gross and SO immature.

They actually do!

In bed, the performance was still continuing when i had had enough and told him to stop.  I mean, if we (women in general) feel the urge and its not an accident, we get out of bed and go to the bathroom, don't we?  I even go to the other bathroom rather than the ensuite because i don't want to offend anyone and i don't want to be embarrassed by any noise.  Right?   So, the next time he feels the urge he lifts the blankets on his side of the bed to let the offending foul air out and it is immediately sucked up by the air intake on his CPAP machine and it floods his mask which is attached with Velcro firmly to his head.

HE GASSED HIMSELF!!!

I'm sorry, but no amount of correct upbringing could stop me from giggling for the next hour.  It was so so funny, and even now, as i type this I'm laughing out loud.   There is no help for me, I've crossed over to the dark side!

PS.  I did ask his permission before posting this, as i did think he might be embarrassed but do you know what his response was

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Yup, still going today. Good Soup. Renewable energy perhaps?  LOL

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Got to luv 'im

Oh, i already know which female blogger is going to comment that they are a farting machine!

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