Walking in Winter

Am i mad?  Am i trying to get the winter sniffles?  Nope, just trying to keep my steps up by going for a decent walk when its wet and freezing, and also trying to get some girl time in with my BFF. Multitasker, yep, that's me.   This event happened a few weeks ago but i was browsing my phone photos today and realised that i hadn't yet shared this free activity with benefits to all my readers. All 3 of you.  You see, I'm thinking of your health.  No special equipment required so put away the wet weather gear, hiking boots and poles, and the new thing, pocket warmers.

So where can you go for a decent walk, stay dry, keep motivated, not get bored. Oh, and stop half way for coffee (only a little Almondine croissant, i promise). After all, you are only half way through and there is a whole lot of more to go, so you need to keep your strength up.

 
Its big, isnt it.  All 82 aisles of undercover walking track with interesting things to look at along the way.  Its so big you can't even see the trade entrance that we parked next too which should be about a centimeter from the left hand side of the above picture.  I think you need a helicopter to get a photo of the whole thing in one frame.

Kerrie and i donned our FitBits and entered into the land of fence palings, sleepers, concrete and besser blocks.  Interesting stuff (NOT) and the coldest part of the warehouse.

Kerrie, the intrepid explorer.  Its a good thing we've been friends forever as I'm sure she thinks I'm nuts sometimes.  

Never-mind, we were warming up.  After dodging tradies and weekend warrior's 4WD, SUV's and Utes loading up in the trade area we ventured into less dangerous territory, the aisles.

 I don't know why I'm showing you this shot, you cant see the other end anyway.

How many different ladders can there be?

We bypassed the Tool Section.  Those who know me know how much i hate this section.  Hubby can go in there and not come out until after dark.  Its such a trap that they have a bench outside it so all the patient wives can rest their feet while they wait.

Was it only a few weeks ago that i threatened him with a giant wrench over the head if he didn't hurry up?

If you started your marathon at breakfast time, then you could stop at the quarter way mark and grab a sausage in bread with barbecued onions, tomato sauce and a dash of mustard for $2.50.  Its for a good cause people, give it up!

Actually it wasn't until we reached aisle 35 that things started getting interesting for us.  We entered the garden tool and what nots section.

Pssss - i have a green one. 

Our increasing interest was marked by the gradual slowing pace of our walk There was even sporadic moments when we came to a complete stop to discuss the merits of a particular item. It could also have been that we are middle aged unfit women who needed a rest and it seemed like a good way to get one. I truly wasn't that interested in half the stuff i picked up.

Did i mention that coffee break?

Not far from the cafe is the DIY Workshop where you can undertake short workshops on various DIY projects (the name kind of gave it away).  Today's itinerary was

Can i let you in on a secret?  The only difference between the bookcase and the shelving was a backing board so its yadda yadda yadda and Oh, here's one i prepared earlier. !!

OK, we are at the other end now and so its outside into the garden section and whiz around all the aisles out here including loading up a trolley with 4 bags of potting mix and a bag of poop.

Why?  Well after that delicious croissant i was feeling guilty and so to punish myself i pushed this loaded trolley for the second half of the marathon, up and down the aisles, taking only God knows how many corners and running in to many many customers ankles who didn't get out of my way fast enough.   Its the wheels people, not me!

Major pauses took place in the tile aisle while we both chose our preferred bathroom tiles.  Its in our future but we both have to win Tattslotto first.

We are both going for large white tiles with a feature stripe.  Kerrie's choice is red and mine will be some shade of blue.  

We stopped for so long in the kitchen and bathroom section that i think you could officially call it an intermission.

In unison we chose this shower enclosure and fixtures.  Both of us have homes approaching the 20 year mark and i know mine is decidedly out of date with its 3 fold sliding shower door that comes apart nearly every time you use it. I want a big door, to get my boobs and butt through at the same time!  (You Jest?  Its working for Kim Kadashian and JLo)

Have you ever noticed how i get Kerrie to do all the embarrassing things for photos.  Well, i am taking the photos, its my blog and she doesn't say no.  Love that smiley face!  XX

After that it all went down hill as we went through storage, cleaning and pool products, plumbing pipes with only brief interest shown on roof vents. The walk got a bit quicker until we reached the final aisle which was internal and external doors.  Once again, our 20 year old project homes came with cheap hollow doors with no features at all and gross white handles.  We both envisage solid doors that actually keep sound in or out depending on where the teenagers are.

The finish line was in site.  Just a trip to the trade desk to pay for the bags of soil and a quick discussion with the boom gate operator on the way out.  Nope, I'm not so big that i cant fit through the normal entrance/exit but this is where we parked the car, remember?  He did tell us that its a huge security risk as people walk out the central exit with their register slip and then come back in, pick up the same item and go out the trade exit showing the same slip.  Its only stamped at this exit and they estimate they loose $1 million a year this way.   Pretty brazen isn't it.  Oh, don't get any ideas!  I trust you all.

So,  how did we go on the steps.  You would be thinking close to 10,000, wouldn't you!  I was (my feet told me it should be) and wasn't i disappointed to find out that it was only 3,500.  Hang on, Kerrie did 4,000.  Did she run on the spot in the shower when i wasn't looking?  Apparently, Fitbits only record when your hands are free.  Just like the treadmill, if you hang onto the handles and your feet move but your hands don't, it doesn't record.  Hello! I was pushing the bloody trolley for extra effort !!!!! Go Figure... and yet, if you keep your feet still and move your hands it still doesn't record.  I tried!

See, this wouldn't work, her hands are holding something.  

My Fitbit is on my wrist but Kerrie's is attached to her bra.  Personally i think she might have gained a few extra steps with boob wobble.

So have you enjoyed your visit?  Yes, i will write about anything.  After 262 posts, you would too!

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Noelle's Funnies - From Florida

Oh Ludwig, with respect.......

The above joke had our family rolling with belly laughter.  So unexpected yet obvious.

I'm enjoying the jokes Noelle is sending from afar.  She is visiting her sister in Florida for a while but still keeping me laughing.  

Welcome to the golden years......

I couldn't find my keys. I quickly gave myself a personal "TSA Pat Down."

They weren't in my pockets.  Suddenly I realized I must have left them

in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.  My husband has

scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car's ignition.  He's

afraid that the car could be stolen. As I looked around the parking

lot, I realized he was right. The parking lot was empty. I immediately

called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left

my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all to my husband: "I left my

keys in the car and it's been stolen."

There was a moment of silence. I thought the call had been

disconnected, but then I heard his voice, "Are you kidding me?"     He

barked,   "I dropped you off!"

Now it was my turn to be silent.  Embarrassed, I said,   "Well, come

and get me."

He retorted,   "I will, as soon as I convince this cop that I didn't

steal your damn car!"

An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time, became very bored with retirement, so he decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr. Geezer's clinic. Get your treatment for $500; if not cured get back $1,000."

Dr. "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. So he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic.

This is what transpired:

Dr. Young: --- "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me ?"

Dr. Geezer:  ---  "Nurse, please bring medicine from  box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."

Dr. Young: --- Aaagh !! -- "This is Gasoline!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."

Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

Dr Young: "I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything."

Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from  box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."

Doctor Young:  "Oh no you don't, that is Gasoline!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."

Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.

Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak, I can hardly see !!!!"

Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so here's your $1000 back."

Dr. Young: "But this is only $500..."

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500."

Moral of story  --  Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an old "Geezer " !!!!

and ain't that the truth!

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Live it up, while you can

I'm going to have to have a serious talk to my "older" friend, Noelle.  She is scaring the pants off me with all these emails on old age.  If i didn't know any better, I'd think she had one foot in the grave.  That's not true, she's only 73.  In a week's time she flies off for a two month holiday in Florida with her sister.    I remember several times over the last 10 year being told that "this trip will be the last, as i don't know if I'll be able to do it again".  Well here she is, hip operation over , beautifully recovered and off on another trip.   Noelle spends several hours standing, doing our family's ironing each Friday and tidying up so i can come home and for that one day (it doesn't last long) i feel like its all under control.   She is my angel. 

This arrived by email today from Noelle.  

Another year has passed

and we’re all a little older.

Last summer felt hotter

and winter seems much colder.

There was a time not long ago

when life was quite a blast.

Now I fully understand

about ‘Living in the Past’.

We used to go to weddings,

football games and lunches.

Now we go to funeral homes 

and after-funeral brunches.

We used to have hangovers,

from parties that were gay.

Now we suffer body aches

and whine the night away.

We used to go out dining,

and couldn't get our fill.

Now we ask for doggie bags,

come home and take a pill.

We used to often travel

to places near and far.

Now we get sore asses

from riding in the car.

We used to go to nightclubs

and drink a little booze.

Now we stay home at night 

and watch the evening news.

That, my friend is how life is,  

and now my tale is told.

So, enjoy each day and live it up . . . .

Before you’re too damned old!

Got to make you laugh, doesn't it.   Au Revoir my sweet.  Parting is such sorrow - who is going to do the ironing?

 

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God and Lawn Care

This popped into my inbox from Noelle.  It all sound pretty ridiculous, doesn't it.

GOD to ST. FRANCIS:
Frank,  ...  You know all about gardens and nature. What in

the world is going on down there on the planet?  What

happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff

I started eons ago?   I had a perfect no-maintenance garden

plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand

drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the

long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and

flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of

colors by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles.

St. FRANCIS:
   It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites.

They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to

great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

GOD:
   Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't

attract butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod

worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these

Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?

ST. FRANCIS:
   Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it

and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing

grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

GOD:
   The spring rains and warm weather probably make

grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

ST. FRANCIS:
   Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they

cut it-sometimes twice a week.

GOD:
   They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?

ST. FRANCIS:
   Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

GOD:
   They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

ST. FRANCIS:
   No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

GOD:   Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so

it will grow. And, when it does grow, they cut it off

and pay to throw it away?

ST. FRANCIS:
   Yes, Sir.

GOD:
   These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer

when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat.

That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.

ST. FRANCIS:
   You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass

stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay

more money to water it, so they can continue to mow

it and pay to get rid of it.

GOD:
   What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees.

That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself.

The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty

and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to

the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture

in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It's a

natural cycle of life. 

ST. FRANCIS:   You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have

drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they

rake them into great piles and pay to have them

hauled away.

GOD:
   No!? What do they do to protect the shrub and

tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose?

ST. FRANCIS:
   After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy

something which they call mulch. They haul it home

and spread it around in place of the leaves.

GOD:
   And where do they get this mulch?

ST. FRANCIS:
   They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

GOD:
   Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore.

St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie

have you scheduled for us tonight?

ST. CATHERINE:   'Dumb and Dumber', Lord. It's a story about....   GOD:
   Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story

from St. Francis. 

Noelle's Funnies - Getting Old Sucks

Just a few funnies Noelle has sent through to me.  Is she trying to warn me?  Not much i can do about it.

and to finish off

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Noelle's Funnies - Still making me laugh

To commemorate her 79th birthday, actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan 's Radio City Music Hall for a benefit. One of the musical numbers she performed was 'My Favorite Things' from the legendary movie 'Sound Of Music' .

Here are the lyrics she used:

 Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting, Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings, Bundles of magazines tied up in string, These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillac's and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses, Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses, Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings, These are a few of my favorite things.

When the pipes leak, When the bones creak, When the knees go bad, I simply remember my favorite things, And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions, No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions, Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring, These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin', Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin', And we won't mention our short shrunken frames, When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache, When the hips break, When the eyes grow dim,

Then I remember the great life I've had, And then I don't feel so bad.

(Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted over four minutes and repeated encores. Please share Ms. Andrews' clever wit and humor with others who would appreciate it.)

If you cant tell, Noelle loves telling old age jokes.  I guess its how she deals with it because she keeps telling me "Dont Get Old".  Her body might be giving in but her mind is a sharp as a needle.   Take a look at her other jokes under the relevant tab.  

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Noelle's Funnies - Brian's Wedding Night

Brian's Wedding.....

 

Brian, 77, married Sue, a lovely 25 year old . . .  Since her new husband is so old, Sue decides that after their wedding she and Brian should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together.

 

After the wedding festivities Sue prepares herself for bed and the expected knock on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Brian, her 77 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, Brian takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

 

After a few minutes, Sue hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Brian, Again he is ready for more 'action.'   Somewhat surprised, Sue consents for more coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Brian kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.

 

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, you guessed it Brian is back again, rapping on the door and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more 'action'.  And, once more they enjoy each other. But as Brian gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, 'I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often.   I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Brian'

 

Brian, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Sue and says:  'You mean I was here already?'

 

The moral of the story:   Don't be afraid of getting old, Alzheimer's has its advantages.

 

P.S.     Have I posted this to you already?

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For my older friends - Ukulele Anyone?

This is another great post from Adele Horin about learning new things as we age including languages and musical instruments.  I swear that its Mum's piano playing that keeps her brain so sharp.  All those neurons firing off from left to right and back again while she plays, reads music and sings.

Some people have asked why i keep my beautiful upright piano, that is never played, that takes up so much space.  I have plans and they involve my retirement years.  Having a pretty good foundation in music from my youth i believe that with a bit of tuition i should be able to pick it back up and continue into my twilight years.  My spare time now is devoted to my garden (while im physically able) and writing to you guys.

Piano, French or Ukulele - Am I too old to learn?

The comments following the post are also insightful and demonstrate the importance of keeping your brain active.

I think, just as you need a variety of physical activity and foods to keep healthy, you need to mix up your brain activity as well.  By reading and writing, being creative with crafts that involve your hands, listening and playing music, meditating (no snoring), and taking care of your spiritual well being we can all look forward to a long future of healthy brain activity.

If i can give anyone advice at any age its to keep yourself engaged with the present (not the past) and for goodness sake, find something to laugh about every day.  If you cant, you are not trying.  Just watch question time in parliament.

This always make me laugh and was what i was imagining when i almost got stuck under the roller door.

Fat Animals 1
Fat Animals 2
Fat Animals 3

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Funny Thing Happened Leaving Work

Now you are going to have to use your imagination because i have no photos, obviously.  The people in the car who slowed down to watch might have some (how embarrassing) but not i.  The really stupid thing is, its not the first time I've done this which means i am by definition stupid.

Our factory office has a roller door on the outside of the building that operates from a button inside my office.  So to close it i have to be in my office.  Trouble is, when i want to leave (and I'm on my own) i have to hit that button and run across the office, through some glass doors, down some steps and scoot under the lowering door.  Its usually about my chest height by the time i get there and so i have to do a slight bend to get under.  No Problem - usually!

Push one door and open the other then duck before the roller door comes down on top of me.  

Yesterday i was carrying a heavy box with two hands.  Now for most people this would have sent alarm bells that A. its going to take you longer to get there and thus the door will be even lower and B. you cant bend forward when you have a heavy box in your hands in front of you. Gravity is going to make you keep on falling forward and that's exactly what happened.  Talk about out of control!

I hit the concrete and it all happened so fast that i have no idea how i ended up wholly on one side with the box  (wooden with steel legs) not broken.  There seems to be a couple of seconds of memory missing.  I'm having all these visuals of being stuck under the roller door with my stumpy legs on one side and head, boobs and arms on the other and my roundish stomach in the middle.  Can you imagine!  Come on try - if you are not splitting your sides laughing then you are not trying hard enough.

Question is, how would i have gotten out of that one!  At 5.30 pm in the back streets of Footscray i could have been stuck under that door for quite a while.  Do you think the car stopped to help me? Nope, they probably were wishing for a video camera to record my misadventure and send to a TV show in the hope of getting $500.

Apart from a few aches and pains today I'm feeling fortunate and have made a firm commitment that i will learn my lesson this time.

Note to self - if you must take something out to car then do it in two trips.  OR, close the bloody door and go out to the factory and go out one of the big ones that move slower.   Truth is I wasn't even on my own.  There were plenty of guys in the factory working back but i just didn't want to bother them.

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Stig Has Come To Stay

If I have to tell you who Stig is then you have been living under a rock for more than a decade.  Stig and his compatriots Jeremy Clarkson, James May and Richard Hammond are all members of the Top Gear team that has wormed there way into the hearts of all males (and quite a few females) throughout the world since 2002.  I cannot count the number of shows i have watched on either TV or DVD as my son's sidekick.  We have laughed and been shocked by their wacky antics and amusing reviews on all things related to motor vehicles placing them firmly in our's and seemingly every other countries top rating show. It has spawned copy cat Top Gear shows in many countries such as the US and Australia and their merchandise covers everything from clothing, manchester, toiletries, toys, auto accessories and well just about everything.

BBC - Top Gear

So who is Stig?   No one knows.  Previous Stigs have been unmasked and there have been several staged unmaskings on the show that were phony but the current Stig is unknown.  He is obviously a seriously good test driver and most people assume he is a well known racing driver but he is always suited up and helmeted and it is one of the worlds best kept secrets.  He is the mascot for Top Gear and you will find his image on all the merchandise.   Which leads me to him actually coming to stay at our house.   A recent promotion at most garages saw a massive life size cardboard cut out of Stig surrounded by promotional material for a competition.  A marketing tool involving swap cards that cleared the shelves daily.

I first saw our Stig about a month ago and had it in mind that it would be a really cool fixture in Tom's new room.  I had visions of him being propped up in one of the corners.  Am i not the coolest Mum ever?

Every time I filled up i asked  the staff about him and each time i was told to come back when the promotion was finished, so i kept coming.  Finally, it has ended and for the price of a donation into their collection box for the Royal Children's Hospital, and the promise that i will stop pestering them,  he is mine or should i say Tom's.

You know my mantra - IF YOU DON"T ASK YOU DON'T GET!!!!!

I would say from the picture above that Tom looks pretty pleased with my surprise gift.   He's going to live in the front room until Tom's room is finished.  The dividing wall between the two bedrooms is coming down this weekend.  So i propped Stig up in front of a window out of the way.  He has a sturdy frame behind him that allows him to stand independently.   Little did I know that when the room is dark and outside light (first thing in the morning) that i would have the gigantic silhouetted man in my room.  I have literally jumped out of my skin several times coming into the room forgetting he was there.

We've been mucking around and saying "Good Morning Stig" or "See Ya Later Stig".  He has taken on a persona of his own and joined our family crew.

I told you that you have to take the helmet off to brush your teeth.    Somehow I don't think he is listening to me.  

Tilly has freaked out so many times and barked her head off. So Funny.    Hey, did you realise that Tilly has no head and I've got no skin?  LOL

Well that's one way to have a shower.  

If you are not a fan of Top Gear and there are those that are seriously opposed to Jeremy Clarkson's rather pompous, chauvinistic, and racists views then you should really check out the spin off shows by the other two.

Richard Hammond's - Miracles of Nature   (Science & Nature)
Richard Hammond;s - Engineering Connections  (National Geographic)

James May's - Man Lab  - Teaching Men (and women) lost skills from previous generations

Tom loves these shows and has learnt more from these than he ever has from a science class.  The same goes for Mythbusters.  Take some science and add a little craziness (read blow stuff up) and you have kids paying attention to science and seeing practical applications.

"Good Night Stig"

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Noelle's Funny - Mans Love of Balls

Have you ever noticed?

1. The sport of choice for the poor and under educated is FOOTBALL

2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BASKETBALL

3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is RUGBY

4. The sport of choice for supervisors is CRICKET

5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS

And...

6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.

MY AMAZING CONCLUSION:

The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

There must be a ton of people in the Government playing:  Marbles

Don't blame me, I'm only her conduit.  After the title of the last post being Spanking The Tomato some might suggest I'm letting my inner naughty girl out to play?

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What is it with Men and Farting?

I know, its an indelicate subject but this question has to be asked.  I'm going to tell you an extremely funny story shortly but first you must know that this subject was so totally out of bounds when i was growing up that even now my usual response to The Boy's (husband and son - can i call them anything else?) indiscriminate flatulence which is usually accompanied by laughter and funny comments like "if it had more choke it would have started" is some stern eyebrows or a total blank stare. The fact that I'm even bringing this matter up shows how desensitised I've become to it over the last 20 Years.  I have no memory of what appears to be the normal response by most and that is to laugh uproariously as if one had just accomplished an act so comedic as to deserve an applause.

When i was growing up, all bodily functions involving the nether regions were to take place in private in the bathroom or in the "little girls room".  At best you could get away with it outside if you were totally on your own and knew that you were not going to offend anyone.   If you happened to burp by accident then you politely covered your mouth and excused yourself.  There were no burping competitions and pretend flatulence by making noises with your armpit, that was just gross and silly.

SO, this story begins with pumpkin soup.   Made in the usual way (onions, garlic, roasted pumpkin, bacon, chicken stock - all pureed and then nutmeg and sour cream added) and served for dinner on Tuesday night.  Yesterday when i came home my husband was in fine form and commented that he had flatulence all day.  Do you think he stopped there? He started describing how long it lasted and what tune he was playing.  By this stage I'm started to get offended and i try to ignore him.  Its hard because like i said, they usually come with a commentary and a comedic performance afterwards.  Gross Gross and SO immature.

They actually do!

In bed, the performance was still continuing when i had had enough and told him to stop.  I mean, if we (women in general) feel the urge and its not an accident, we get out of bed and go to the bathroom, don't we?  I even go to the other bathroom rather than the ensuite because i don't want to offend anyone and i don't want to be embarrassed by any noise.  Right?   So, the next time he feels the urge he lifts the blankets on his side of the bed to let the offending foul air out and it is immediately sucked up by the air intake on his CPAP machine and it floods his mask which is attached with Velcro firmly to his head.

HE GASSED HIMSELF!!!

I'm sorry, but no amount of correct upbringing could stop me from giggling for the next hour.  It was so so funny, and even now, as i type this I'm laughing out loud.   There is no help for me, I've crossed over to the dark side!

PS.  I did ask his permission before posting this, as i did think he might be embarrassed but do you know what his response was

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Yup, still going today. Good Soup. Renewable energy perhaps?  LOL

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Got to luv 'im

Oh, i already know which female blogger is going to comment that they are a farting machine!

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