Friday, 12 April 2013

Noelle's Funny - Audience Participation

My young friend Noelle (70ish), sent this to me today.  She had us ROFLOL, as usual.


It was entertainment night at the senior citizens ' centre. After the community sing along led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the star of the show- Claude the Hypnotist!

Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance.

"Yes, each and every one of you and all at the same time." said Claude.

The excited chatter dropped to silence as Claude carefully withdrew from his waistcoat pocket; a beautiful antique gold pocket watch and chain.

"I want you to keep your eyes on this watch" said Claude, holding the watch high for all to see.

It is a very special and valuable watch that has been in my family for six generations" said Claude.

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting

"Watch the watch --- Watch the watch ----Watch the watch"

The audience became mesmerised as the watch swayed back and forth.

The lights were twinkling as they were reflected from its gleaming surfaces.

A hundred and fifty pairs of eyes followed the movements of the gently swaying watch. And then, suddenly, the chain broke!!! The beautiful watch fell to the stage and burst apart on impact"

"SHIT" said Claude.

It took them three days to clean the Senior Citizens ' Centre and Claude was never invited there again.

What can i say - shit happens!

Mop & Bucket anyone?

While I'm discussing things of a geriatric nature, one of our staff retired this week (sorry Lou).  The boys in the factory thought it only fitting to send him off with a gift. 

There is a bike bell (which well and truly drove me mad by the end of the morning) a reflector, stubby holder and of course, a warning sign of approaching geriatric.   I think Lou was quite chuffed.  I don't think however, he gets the idea of retirement.  He left Tuesday but was back again today and then said, see ya Wednesday.  Oh Well, he's part of the furniture and i guess we all have to get use to the change.   Lets see how long it takes his wife Ann to send him back to us.......

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  1. *snort* Love it! And love the geri-stick too. I MUST get one of those for my dad when he retires in about 5 years (and then move like hell to get out of stick to backside range ;) )

  2. (Hee-hee ;) ). Reminds me of that wonderful U.K. sitcome "Keeping up Appearances" and how upset Richard was when he realised that he was being forced to retire and would be spending 24/7 with one Ms. Hyacinth Bucket "BOO-KAY DEAR...IT'S PRONOUNCED BOO-KAY!" ;). Love the gift and it's no wonder Lou doesn't want to leave ;).


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