Welcome to Noelle's Funny! Noelle is my Angel (70 years young) that pops over once a week to help me in the house while i work full time. She has been helping me for too many years to count and we consider her family. My small payment helps her with living expenses as she is a pensioner and i think its a win win situation for all. Every few days i get an email from her with something that has tickled her funny bone and i think that they are so hilarious that im going to share them with you. It proves that humour has no age limit.
Today's Funny From Noelle
As I was lying around,
pondering the problems of the world,
I realized that at my
age I don't really give a rat's ass anymore.
.. If walking is good
for your health, the postman would be immortal.
.. A whale swims all
day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat.
.. A rabbit runs and
hops and only lives 15 years, while
.. A tortoise doesn't
run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.
And you tell me to
exercise?? I don't think so.
Just grant me the
senility to forget the people I never liked,
the good fortune to
remember the ones I do, and the
eyesight to tell the
difference.
Now that I'm older
here's what I've discovered:
1. I started out with
nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats are
mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.
3. I finally got my
head together, and now my body is falling apart.
4. Funny, I don't
remember being absent-minded.
5. Funny, I don't
remember being absent-minded.
6. If all is not lost,
then where the heck is it ?
7. It was a whole lot
easier to get older, than to get wiser.
8. Some days, you're
the top dog; some days you're the hydrant.
9. I wish the buck
really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.
10. Kids in the back
seat cause accidents.
11. Accidents in the
back seat cause kids.
12. It's hard to make
a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
13. The world only
beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.
14. If God wanted me
to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.
15. When I'm finally
holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.
16. It's not hard to
meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.
17. The only
difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
18. These days, I
spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .I go somewhere to get
something, and then wonder what I'm "here after".
19. Funny, I don't
remember being absent-minded.
20. HAVE I SENT THIS
MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE..........??????
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Thanks For Visiting Living In The Land Of Oz
This is cute...Mark's grandmother used to write books of different quotes...sometimes funny, sometimes serious. This reminds me of that.
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